When things are broken

It makes me really sad when things get broken or damaged.  Today I dropped my phone on a brick and the edge of the phone got dented.  Now I'm really sad because it's less than perfect.  I know that this is a trivial problem and I could console myself with the fact that at least the screen is still intact and everything is working fine.  But I'm still sad about the damage. 

I've written about this before.  Not in a blogpost, but in an old journal.  In year 12 I accidentally cracked the spine of a new book and was really sad about it.  It was ridiculous to be that sad about a book, and I knew that.  I reflected then about what it says about me that I felt like a book with a cracked spine was now 'ruined'.  The new book was less lovely because of its flaw.  I didn't really come up with an answer back then, I just hoped that I would get over it.  And of course I did get over it. 

So I was thinking today.  Who doesn't get upset when something is broken or damaged?  Of course it depends on the original value of the object, not just monetary value but sentimental, and use value as well.  When things get broken we know this is bad, that something has gone wrong.  We have this innate knowledge that this shouldn't happen.  But it does happen.  We live in a broken world so of course things break and are damaged.   

But I think there is also something wrong with the fact that I love something like my phone so much.  I'm not always aware of how much I love things until they are damaged or destroyed.  There is idolatry in my heart, which too easily loves created things rather than the creator of all things.  

So I'm looking forward to a time when things won't get broken.  When I won't love things as much as I do because they won't come near to comparing to the joy I have in God and the wonder of worshiping him forever.

What drama brings to life

On Wednesday and Thursday last week a bunch of first year students performed in the Mark drama at college, directed by my husband and another third year friend.  I went to see it on Wednesday night. 

I saw it last year when J performed in it (not at college but at a church) so I didn’t expect it to be too different.  Last year I was sick when I saw it so my head was a bit fuzzy.  I was at least looking forward to having a clear head while watching. 

I was blown away. 

I spent the first half of the performance not being able to keep the grin off my face.  Look what Jesus is doing!  He heals people, he loves people, he tells the truth, he’s gentle, he drives out demons, he explains things and leaves you to think about other things.  This is the guy I follow, and he is amazing. 

Then it got uncomfortable. 

Peter denied knowing Jesus once Jesus was arrested.  This friend he had followed for three years and declared himself committed to was cast quickly aside out for fear for himself.  And he cried in anguish long enough to make me uncomfortable. 

“I’m sorry Jesus!”

But it also gave me time to realise how horrible it really was.  Peter broke a promise.  Peter betrayed Jesus.

I have betrayed Jesus.

Then Jesus was crucified and he spent agonising hours on the cross.  We heard Jesus’ ragged breaths and spluttering coughs as he slowly suffocated.  And I felt tears in my eyes.

I’m sorry Jesus.  I did this to you.  I put you here.  I’m part of your pain. 

I’ve been praying that God would help me to hate my sin.  The horrible death that Jesus went through to pay for my sin shows me how horrible my sin is.  I saw and felt this as I listened to Jesus die. 

But he didn’t stay dead.  The Mark drama ends with the women leaving the empty tomb, asking themselves “is it true?  Has he risen?”  I can say with confidence that night, on Resurrection Sunday and always that it is true.  Jesus has risen. 

I pray that this Easter was not just a nice long weekend for you.  Of course we can fill it with nice things like chocolate, family and friends.  But it’s not a nice long weekend.  Friday is Good, but have you stopped to wonder why we call the death-day of the greatest person in history a good day?  Easter Sunday is a celebration of Jesus’ victory.  This long weekend is the time we remember and celebrate the greatest event in history.  Take a look at Jesus, read about him and find out why.