Disappointingly Present

I don’t think pregnant women should be told they could give birth any time from 37 weeks pregnant to 41 weeks pregnant.  It creates this expectation from 37 weeks that labour could begin any time.  By the time you get to your due date at 40 weeks you’ve been in a state of expectation for three weeks and you don’t want to wait any longer.  Well at least, that’s how I’m feeling!

The reality is that most first pregnancies don’t happen early (before the due date).  And they do tell you this, but you hope to be early anyway.  They’ve given you a four to five week window and the due date isn’t right in the middle, so you’d think your chances of being early are greater. 

But I’ve discovered that this expectation in the pregnant mother’s mind doesn’t just come from medical professionals.  It’s from other people around you too.  It’s like everyone is expecting that you’ll give birth before or on your due date because as that date gets closer people remark on the fact that you’re still pregnant. 

Now that I’ve gone over my due date (by only one day mind you!) I feel like I’m disappointing people when I turn up to events, or pick up the phone, or respond to a text message.  I understand this.  I’m disappointed too that I haven’t gone into labour yet.  But this started before I even reached my due date. 

I think it’s probably more likely that my family and friends are just excited about the impending birth and any sign that it’s happening (e.g. I don’t answer my phone).  Perhaps they don’t remember exactly when I’m due but they know I’m really pregnant and it could happen any time! 

I didn’t think I’d get to my due date, I thought the baby would come early.  But I find myself here, still waiting and wondering why I expected this when I was told that first pregnancies are usually late.  Why did I think I would be one of the minority? 

Maybe it’s the words “due date”.  For everything else in life a due date is the last date possible.  The milk has a due date and you usually wouldn’t drink it after that date has passed!  But it seems that a pregnancy due date (technically called “Expected Date of Delivery”) is just a ball-park date.  Babies can’t be relied upon to be on time!  I knew this, which is why I wasn’t too worried about having February 29th as our due date.  But there’s still something disappointing about going “overdue”. 

So I was thinking that maybe doctors should change the way they talk about when a baby could be born.  They should tell you that it’s fine if the baby is born at 37 weeks, they’re developed enough to thrive.  But calling this “full term” invites expectation and disappointment for too long. 

I don’t think I’m going to change the way medical staff talk to pregnant women just because of my disappointments!  I write this in the hope that I can help other pregnant women handle their expectations, and that I can remember to be sensitive to those who may in future go over their due date in pregnancy.  The baby will come when the baby is ready and that’s probably for the best. 

We're on a babymoon!

In my last post I mentioned that we drove down to Melbourne. This was just a stop on our way to Tasmania for a baby-moon. Apparently it's a thing that some people do: go on a holiday before the baby is born as a kind of second honeymoon and a last holiday without children. We thought it sounded like a good excuse for a holiday.

J and I were tossing up between Tasmania and New Zealand. J had been to Tasmania before and wanted to show me around. I have been to New Zealand and wanted to show J around. We only had a week to play with, and since Tasmania is smaller we opted for there. Unfortunately a lot of Tasmanian gems are seen by doing long walks, which I can't do at the moment. But I suppose New Zealand would have been the same. We'll just have to go back to Tasmania another time!

We're hiring a car while we're here and staying in Hobart, Strahan, and Launceston. Hobart is first and so far we love it. It's a pretty city that's easy to get around and has interesting places to explore in and around it.

Again, I don't think I'll be great at getting photos up on the blog, but if you'd like to see some more photos you can have a look at my instagram photos further down on the right panel (website version of the blog for those who read via email).

Thankful Thursday

Here are some of the things I am thankful for this week:

A new pillow
My parents were here over the weekend and we spent a lot of time with them, which was lovely.  We went out to dinner with them a number of times, J and Dad played golf, Mum and I went shopping, I drove them to a quilting shop Mum really wanted to visit.  One of the fun things I did with Mum was to make a pregnancy pillow.  I'm normally a back-sleeper so switching to sleeping on my side has been a bit of an adjustment. I'd seen a few patterns on the Internet, but I already had a bit of an idea of what I wanted.  I'd been sleeping with two extra pillows, one at my front between my knees and supporting my stomach, and the other at my back.  But they were a bit flat and meant I took up a lot of room in the bed much to J's dismay.  So I knew I wanted something to support my front and back, that was narrower and plumper than a normal pillow.  Mum and I had fun making it up as we went along and here is the result.  I am now, usually, sleeping much more comfortably (except for sore hips!).  

Community living
I've said it before, but I love living in this community of Christian student families.  This week I'm thankful that I can borrow things (like a sewing machine for that pillow!) and I can shoot out strange requests and the odds are that someone can help me.  This week I need egg cartons for the craft at kid's club so I sent out an email to our community and got about five replies from people who had heaps of egg cartons!  I had so much more than enough, thank you community!

What are you thankful for this week?

An announcement and an apology

Okay, it’s about time that I write about what I’ll be doing next year.  But this announcement also comes with an apology.  

I am currently half way through a pregnancy and will be spending most of my time being a mother next year.  We are excited to be growing our family in this way, with a good dose of nervous thrown in too!  (This is why we won’t have as much space in our house next year.)   

The baby is due at the end of February, the 29th to be exact (though babies are rarely exact).  J is quite excited about that due date, seeing as it’s a leap year, but I’m glad that only about 4% of babies are born on their due date.  The poor child would only get a ‘real’ birthday every four years!  

My apology is this: for those of you who struggle with childlessness, I am sorry.  I am sorry for the pain that this announcement may cause you, and I am sorry for the pain you have already gone through and are going through as you seek to answer your good desire to have children, be they biological or adopted.  I don’t have any answers and there is nothing that I can say to lessen your pain.  Our desire to be sensitive to you is part of the reason why this announcement has taken so long to happen online.  We wanted to be sensitive to you and not make a big online announcement.  You are not forgotten by us.  We love you, and so does our creator God.  We long for the day that we can celebrate new life with you. 

Through family eyes

Sometimes life is busy and things happen that I’d love to update you all about, but then the next thing happens and I don’t seem to find a time to sit down and write about it.  There will (may…) be a few posts up this week about things that happened last week that I’d love to reflect on and write about.  I get frustrated writing about things late that I almost give up on writing about them at all, but there have been some great things that I’d like to write about so I’ll swallow the discomfort and write anyway. 

I went with a family of five to The Easter Show on Tuesday last week.  They have a five-seater car but were able to borrow a bigger car from one of our neighbours so that I could ride in the car with them.  The three kids seats took up the middle row of seats and the back row would normally have been accessed from this middle row.  So I climbed over the back of my seat to get in.  The kids couldn’t see me but we entertained each other by high-fives over the back of their seats and surprise tickles on their hands when they were within my reach. 

I had a lot of fun at The Show, helping keep track of the children, visiting the animals, dodging the rain (okay maybe that bit wasn’t so much fun), watching the wood chopping, keeping the children entertained (and being entertained by them), eating show food and marvelling at the food displays. 

It was nice to experience a bit of life with three children, and to help the parents, whether it was holding a little hand or pushing the pram.  I wasn’t bothered about rides or particularly adult things to do at The Show (if there are things that are particularly adult…) and it was fun to watch little faces light up as they spun around in a giant teacup.  I protected a two-year-old from the piglet in the petting pen when she decided she didn’t really want to pat it, reminded her that Hoot had to go home and we said goodbye to him already, and told an-almost-four-year-old the story of the three little pigs. 

The Show through family eyes was fun.  I found myself looking at certain things from a child’s perspective (piglets are quite large when you’re the size of a two-year-old).  But I also saw the parent perspective: constantly on the look out for the children, following her if she wandered in the other direction, and dealing with tantrums.  And it made The Show enjoyable in a different way being there with a different focus that I would at The Show back home. 

Thanks friends for letting me tag along with you and be part of your family for the day!

Thankful Thursday

Here are the things I’m thankful for this week:

Assignments are over!
On Saturday I submitted my last assignment for the year.  It was meant to be submitted Friday.  Oh well.  It was a big assignment so I’m just glad to have finished it.  I think a number of students were relieved it was done.  On Monday morning back at college I had more than one deliriously silly conversation about the assignment  with a friend. 
But the year isn’t finished yet.  I’m thankful that this was the last assignment so that I can now concentrate on exams.  We’ve got two more weeks of classes, a study week and then exams. 

A family visit
This weekend J’s mum came to stay with us.  It was lovely having her with us, being able to show her our place, our community, church and college.  She was a wonderful house guest, she even did the dishes for us!  J and I are both thankful for her love and kindness and support.  We were glad to be able to share with her what our life is like here. 

Catching a leak in the act
On Tuesday night there was a big storm that hit our city.  I was at home watching NCIS.  (there are three NCIS series on at the moment, how am I supposed to watch them all?  Yay, for catch-up TV!) 
Our front window leaks in heavy rain and drips all the way down the venetian blind.  But it wasn’t just dripping Tuesday night.  The water was practically pouring down the wall and behind the couch.  I had to dash upstairs for some towels to soak it all up. 
The wall looks like it needs a bit of a clean, but I think I caught it before it got too out of hand.  If I hadn’t been home who knows what our couch would have looked like.  So thank you NCIS for distracting me from study so I was home to catch the leak.  Well, more like: thank you God for your providential timing. 

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thursday

I’ve been thinking about this Thankful Thursday series this week and I realised that it has turned out to be an easy way of summarising my week and my thankfulness for the things that have happened through it.  This is of course one way that this series can be expressed. 

When I started it I thought I would write about ordinary things in life, like “I’m thankful for my toaster”, and so I would be reminded (and also be a reminder to you) to be thankful in even the little things of life. 

But instead I’ve most often been thankful for things that have happened.  This has made me realise just how blessed I am that my weeks comes with events I can thank God for.  I don’t have to search very far to thank God. 

But I do want to be reminded and be a reminder to be thankful in even the little things, so I’ll be trying to include some of these in my regular posts.  Perhaps one remedy is to blog more so that I share the events with you outside of these posts, but I’m not sure how easily that will happen.  We’ll see. 

So with that out of the way, here are thing things that I’m thankful for this week:

Rides to and from the airport
As previously mentioned I flew back home this past weekend, and I was extremely thankful to have family drop me at the airport and pick me up on the other side.  I’m thankful that my family love me and show it by doing this.  When I arrived my sister was there to greet me with open arms.  Dad even came into the terminal with me when I was leaving.  Thanks family for your generosity with your time. 

Our washing machine
I’m so glad that I don’t have to wash all our clothes in buckets or in a laundry sink (particularly because we don’t have one of those!).  I’ve done more washing than normal this week because we’ve had two occasions of people staying with us and I’ve washed their sheets and towels after they’ve gone.  I’m thankful for the way washing is made easier by being able to just throw it in the machine, set it going and do something else while it washes.  We only have two or three loads of washing a week and even with that little amount I am thankful for the washing machine. I’m sure I’ll be thankful again and again for a washing machine if our regular load ever grows. 

Bread Run
Once a week our college community collects the left over bread from a local-ish Bakers’ Delight.  I’m thankful that having this means that our grocery shopping is a little bit cheaper.  I’m also thankful for the banter that happens around the bread bags and the way that our community has fun together. 

What are you thankful for this week?

A celebration of a life still lived

Over the weekend I flew back home to attend my Grandpa’s 80th birthday party.  It was a very quick visit.  I flew in on Saturday afternoon and out again Sunday night.  My parents generously paid for the flights because they thought Grandpa would really appreciate it.  When we turned up at my uncle’s place where the party was being held Grandpa did seem particularly touched and surprised to see me.  It seemed like he was a little overwhelmed a few times throughout the afternoon, touched by who had come and what they said about him.

Grandpa’s oldest child, my aunty, organised a time for people to share stories about Grandpa. 

The thing that stuck with me the most was how much Grandpa loves Grandma.  It is noticeable.  People had stories about it.  He does things for Grandma as soon as she mentions it.  He still counts himself lucky to have her. 

My aunty said that she and her siblings, Grandpa’s children, had much to live up to in this area.  But not just his children, I thought.  His grandchildren too.  What a great example of selfless love my Grandpa is. 

The Bible says that marriage is a picture, a reflection, a model of Jesus’ love for his bride, the church.  And we all know what that love looks like.  That love laid down Jesus’ life for the sake of the church, of those who follow Jesus.  God calls husbands and wives to love each other sacrificially like this.  What a great example of selfless love my saviour Jesus is. 

I’ve seen some of this in my Grandpa and I’ve been reinspired by him to love my husband like that too.  Thank you Grandpa for your life well lived.  Thank you for the example of your love still lived.  Happy Birthday. 

Thankful Thursday

There are lots of things for me to be thankful for this week that I almost don’t know where to begin. 

Someone is reading the Bible
On Friday night we had a community dinner at our church.  We have these every few months and we invite people from the community around the church to come.  Mostly this is kids club and playgroup families.  In the course of dinner I heard that a dad of one of the kids club kids, a Hindu man, had been reading the Bible.  This is wonderful.  Not only does it mean that this man is willing to learn about Christianity, it also means that God is working in his heart through the word.  After all, the word of God is “living and active” (Hebrews 4:12) and it will accomplish his purposes (Isaiah 55:11).  And his purpose is that everyone would come to a knowledge of the truth, the truth about him, and be saved (1 Timothy 2:4). 

Generosity
I had my birthday this week and was touched by the love and generosity of my friends.  I received unexpected gifts, lots of “happy birthday”s and had a cafe date organised for a celebration.  I also received a package in the mail from my family.  It was filled with lots of little packages of joy.  J has been very busy this week and very apologetic about not being able to do anything special for my birthday but he’s been so lovely that I don’t mind at all. 

A visit from an old friend
Today a friend who I used to work with contact me yesterday because she was in my city.  I haven’t seen her for two years but it was wonderful to catch up with her, even though it was brief.  We had fun when we worked together and it was lovely to hear her laughter again.  I showed her around college and we caught up on what each of our lives is like now. 

A call from my sister
I got a call from my sister today because she was upset about something.  She called during a lecture so I had to call her back when it got to lunch time.  We didn’t talk for very long but the thing I’m thankful for is that when she was upset she wanted to talk to me.  We’ve never been particularly emotionally close, so this was special to me.  Thanks sister for relying on me. 

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thursday

Here are some things that I’m thankful for this week:

A baking day
On Saturday I decided to do some baking because I hadn’t done any in a long time.  I made some brownies and some ANZAC slice.  I think I’ve avoided baking because I didn’t want to be tempted to eat all of the end result.  But I plan to freeze some of this to pull out in an emergency.  I realised that I’ve missed baking so Saturday was fun. 

Enjoyable nights because I finished my assignment
I submitted my last assignment on Tuesday of this week and I was really excited about the nights for the rest of the week.  Wednesday night was Bible study end of term social where we also finished off the Bible study that we had been preparing and writing this term.  I’ve loved talking about the Bible and our faith with these wonderful ladies.  Tonight we had dinner with another family in our college community.  I love this couple and their cute kid, even though we haven’t known each other for very long.  I’ve loved helping out with dinner, playing with their kid and chatting and laughing together.  I love the way that we can share our lives together in this community.  I’m also looking forward to tomorrow: the second years in our community are having an end of term party, which we do every term.  It’s always been a great way to debrief and relax, and spend a bit more time with the other wives and kids. 

Phone call from home
My sister was at my parent’s place for dinner tonight so they decided to give me a call.  It was lovely hearing their voices and listening in on the banter.  Thanks for thinking of me and just chatting.

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for these things:

A hen’s weekend in Adelaide
I’ve already talked about it here.  It was lovely to go to Adelaide and spend some time with my family as well as some friends for the hen’s event.  I am thankful that we had the money to fly me there for the weekend, and that my family was so generous with picking me up and dropping me at the airport, as well as with quick dinners, gifts and hot chocolates.  I’m thankful for the friendships I have with the girls I spent the weekend with and the fun that we had together.  I’m thankful that my dear friend is getting married and that I am able to support and help her as she prepares for her marriage. 

Studying with my husband
I love that J and I are studying the same course and almost all the same subjects.  This not only means that we can study together and help each other out, but our holidays also happen at the same time and we’re both really looking forward to them! 

My women’s Bible study group
Our college organises women’s Bible studies for the female students and wives of students.  I’m in one of the groups that meets at our college community.  So I only have to walk over to the next block of units to get to Bible study!  I’ve been in one of these groups since we got here and have loved it.  It has been a great way of getting to know some of the other wives in our community here, and a great encouragement to me.  All of the women are godly and switched-on theologically.  This week was the last week that we met for this term and so we had an end of term party of sorts.  We each brought along a recommendation.  More on that later!

What are you thankful for this week?

Barossa Hens

This weekend I flew back to Adelaide for a very dear friend’s Hens weekend.  Admittedly I was a little nervous flying by myself, afraid that I would miss my flight home because the timing was pretty tight.  But it turned out that my Sunday afternoon flight was cancelled and I took the option of an evening flight which made everything much easier. 

Flying in to Adelaide was lovely.  Firstly, I was seated in an exit row so I was very glad we’d made it without me needing to operate the escape hatch!  I had a window seat so I got great views of the city lights at night as we flew over.  Though I wouldn’t necessarily be able to recognise my home city from an aerial viewpoint there was something comfortingly familiar about seeing all those sparkling lights in neat rows and straight lines.  That’s very unlike the city we live in now!  I wish I had a photo to show you but I couldn’t use my phone in the plane at that time.

My sister had taken the night off work so she could pick me up from the airport.  Thanks sis!  We had a fun night of snacks and a movie with a bit of catching up in between it all.  In the morning Mum and Dad got home from Europe, where they’d been for a month.  We caught up for about an hour, I saw photos and was given some gifts to fit into my carry on luggage, before I had to leave for the start of the hens weekend!

We started the weekend off with breakfast at the hen’s house with her mother, mother-in-law-to-be and the girls who were coming for the weekend. 

 

Then we drove through the hills to the Barossa Valley, with the hen blindfolded all the way.  She had no idea where we were going.  I tried to drive gently. 

We stopped at a few wineries for wine tasting, went to Maggie Beer’s Farm Shop, had a picnic lunch in a park and pizza dinner at a local restaurant, and played pool in a pub while attempting to fulfil the dares we’d given the hen.  Our evening consisted of silly games, junk food and a Disney movie. 

In the morning we went to another winery for wine tasting and then played croquet.  That was one of the highlights for me.  I’d never played croquet before and it’s not really like anything else.  At our cafe lunch after the croquet we asked the hen some questions about how well she knew her fiancé and then called him to check.  She passed!

The hen is a very dear friend to me and I’m so excited to see her getting ready for marriage and to be able to stand with her on their wedding day.  I’m thankful for her friendship and the support she has always shown me and I so value that she trusts me so that I can support her also, particularly as she prepares for marriage.  I’m looking forward to many more years of friendship with you, my friend!

Of birthdays, car trips and projects

My parents visited us last weekend.  They arrived on Friday, which was Dad’s birthday, and left Sunday night. 

On Friday night we went out to dinner for Dad’s birthday, but he still ended up paying for everything (or maybe Mum did, but it comes out the same anyway).  We even got to go to the Lindt cafe, something which I’ve been wanting to do since we got here (and last time Mum and Dad were here!).  We missed out last time because the one we tried to go to closed at 6pm.  This time I was prepared and I found one that stayed open late enough for birthday dessert. 

On Saturday we went to the zoo.  Taking people to the zoo seems to have developed into a ‘thing’ for us since we got here, much because of the communal zoo membership passes that we have in our community.  On the way to the zoo we missed the turn off  so it turned into a bit of a tour of the north shore.  Dad was particularly impressed with the bird show at the zoo. 

On Sunday they came to church with us in the morning and then we drove all over town to find a new laptop for me.  I’m pretty please with the result, but still setting it all up. 

Mum and Dad also bought me a passionfruit plant (I love passionfruit!) and a wire trellis to train it on but it rained all weekend after that so we couldn’t put it up.  This means it’s now my project.  This is as far as I’ve gotten, which is okay really for the stage that the plant is in.  Now that it’s holidays and I’ve finished me recent assignment, it’s time to set it all up.  I’m not sure if this pot is wide enough, anyone have any ideas?

Thanks Mum and Dad for a lovely weekend together!

I'll be home for Christmas

We're back home for Christmas and spending it with family.  It's lovely to be home, on familiar streets and seeing old friends.

J and I helped to decorate my parent's Christmas tree on Sunday afternoon and we listened to Christmas CDs like we always do.

This tree is taken from the bottom of my parent's block of land.  We've been using a 'home grown' Christmas tree for many years now.  Dad said that this tree was one year's worth of growth, and it still almost reaches the ceiling!

It was fun to see a lot of our old decorations, particularly the ones that my sister or I made as kids.  Here's a few:

J and I were both spoilt this Chritmas but we were reminded of the greatest gift of all and the reason that we gather and celebrate this day.  The gift of Jesus to take away our sins is the greatest gift of all.

The way God gave this gift to the world was so unexpected.  Jesus came into the world in humble and scandalous circumstances; he was born as a helpless baby to an unmarried girl in a lowly stable.  He didn't come with power and might as many would have expected.  Yet this baby would grow up to be the one who took the sins of the world upon himself so that we who trust and believe in him could be right before God.  Jesus and what he accomplished really is the greatest gift of all.  This is why we celebrate Christmas day.

A year ago

A year ago my husband and I were in a chapel, making promises to each other that will last for the rest of our lives. A year later and we are in a very different place, but just as much in love.


 Here are some of the things that have happened to us in the past year.

Guess who's coming to dinner?

As I may have mentioned before, we are living in a community of students from Bible college, and one of the things we do is share meals together.  In summer we had weekly barbecues together at the big grassy backyard of some of the houses.  In winter we have 'Winter Dinners' which we organise with a roster to take it in turns to host or be guests, and hopefully by the end we have a chance to have dinner with each family.