I am a music snob

I am a music snob.  I really am, I am ashamed to say.  I don’t mean styles of music.  You can like your punk/funk/heavy metal as much as you like and I’m not fussed.  Each to their own and I’m (mostly) happy to say that it’s just a matter of preference (but screaming, is that really music?).  When I say I’m a music snob, it’s in a far worse way than disliking a particular style.  I mean church music.

In the last while I have been to a few different churches or places where church music is played (e.g. college).  Each church has different resources (in terms of musicians available and qualities of sound systems and things like that).  And I have realised that I am a snob about church music.

I realised this recently when we were in a church singing a song that I knew well and the song leader and congregation sang a note wrong.  They sang two lines exactly the same without the subtle difference of one note.  It was only one note, but it annoyed me. 

Now, I quickly realised that this probably affected only me.  My snobbery caused me to lose joy in what I was singing, to focus more on the music (the tune, the instruments, the tempo) instead of the words that I was (meant to be) singing in worship to God.  It distracted me from what I should be focusing on while singing in church.

I know that this is probably my problem and not something I can blame on someone else.  I could say that the musicians should “work harder” and get the song “right” so that the music is good and doesn't distract anyone.  But I’ve been in far too many small churches to know that this just isn’t possible.  Your drummer is young and enthusiastic and plays too fast and loud, or your guitarist taught themself and can only play certain types of music, or your singers are shy and never know when to come in.  But there’s no one else who can do it, so you use what you have. 

Sure, my problem may be fixed by a talented music team who play well together and produce polished church music.  I will be able to entrust myself to their music and focus on the words and what I am singing to God.  There will be nothing in the music that jars me out of my focus on God.  But what if I’ve learnt the song incorrectly in the first place?  What I think is right and won’t jar, is actually not right, and even if the musicians play the song perfectly (or we sing along to a recording, arguably as perfect as you can get), my problem will still happen.

So much of the way we do music at church is communal.  We learn together and we teach each other.  We may get used to the way that our church music team plays a particular song, and this becomes our favourite and comfortable way to sing it, even if it is “wrong” in certain aspects according to the original composer(s) and performer(s).  

My music snobbery is just something that I need to get over.  I can’t control the music at any church and getting upset about it just puts a barrier in my way to worshiping God through what I’m singing.  I want to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness for the way that God has blessed the church with the people who are there, and I want to focus on the words, more than the music.  Any time I hear that jarring of music not–quite–right–to–my–ears, I hope it reminds me to refocus on the words, to mean what I am singing, and ultimately, focus not on myself, but on my God. 

Thankful Thur– Friday

Oops!  After all that rush on Wednesday I’m late with my Thankful Thursday post.  Here are some things that I’m thankful for this week:

Church camp
Last weekend J and I went away up into the mountains for church camp.  It was a lovely time away and a great opportunity to get to know some people at church better, and have fun together.  I felt more relaxed (and sometimes a bit crazy) than I usually am at church.  Thanks to everyone who shared thoughts with me, sat next to me, played games with me, puzzled with me and prayed with me. 

Making music
On Monday night our college had their graduation ceremony and J and I were involved in leading the songs with three others from college.  It was lots of fun.  There was playful banter, helpful instrument carriers, some insistent glasses cleaning, nerves and beautiful noise.  I also surprised myself by being chatty in the car when we were taking instruments back to college.  It was particularly lovely getting to know our drummer a bit and to see her enjoyment and enthusiasm for music.  Thanks music team!

Our year group at college
On Thursday afternoon we held a “senatorial inquiry” on Luke’s gospel and how it provides hope for a number of different people groups of the time.  It was hilarious (and also informative of course).  People dressed up in togas (or dresses or toilet paper bandages or hessian sacks) and went to town on first century jokes and year group references.  I’m thankful that our year group is funny, friendly and overall fantastic.  I’m so grateful for the friends I have, the helpfulness people show, and the fun we have together.

A flower
I only noticed today that my passionfruit plant has produced a flower!  To be honest, I wasn’t sure that the plant would do very well in a pot so I’m excited that this has happened.  One step closer to getting fruit!

What are you thankful for this week?

Do you stop?

He was standing on the side of the highway, next to his car, waving a hand in the air.  I was driving and asked J if I should pull over.  We had almost driven past him.

I pulled over.  The man had sheepishly run out of petrol, 20 kilometres from the next town.  We didn’t have any petrol in a can as he first asked, but we agreed to take him into town to buy some.  He told his wife who was waiting in the car what was happening and then came with us. 

It turned out he was going the same direction as us, for the same reason.  Visiting family for Christmas.  He told us all about his son, his grandchildren, where they were at school, what they were interested in.  And it turned out he was a Christian too.  We’d heard of the church he went to, and even visited the church his son and grandchildren went to in our home city. 

To be honest, we had both been nervous about stopping for someone in the middle of nowhere.  For me, the fact that he was a older man allayed some of my fears.  It was a relief to find out that we weren’t just helping a stranger, but a brother in Christ.  I always feel safer and more comfortable around Christians.  But we didn’t know this when we stopped. 

On our drive we’ve been listening to an audio recording of the Gospel of Luke, read by us and some of our fellow students.  One of the parables that Jesus tells is of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25–37).  This story is Jesus’ response to the question “who is my neighbour?”  Jesus turns the question around.

Which of these three do you think became a neighbour to the man who fell into the hands of the robbers?”  The expert in religious law said, “The one who showed mercy to him.” So Jesus said to him, “Go and do the same.” (Luke 10:36 –37)

I was reminded that anyone in need is our neighbour.  And by helping we were being good neighbours.  I don’t regret stopping for this stranger and driving 40 kilometres more than we had to.  They were both so appreciative and couldn’t stop saying so.  Perhaps I won’t be so nervous about stopping for someone next time. 

What makes work enjoyable

Hello everyone.  I’m sorry it has been so long since I’ve posted anything.  College is finished and we’re on holidays but I still haven’t written anything.  I guess I felt that there wasn’t much to say. 

I’ve got a little bit more of an excuse for the past two weeks.  I’ve been working for two weeks and Monday was my last day.  I was working in a warehouse of toy company, dealing with the online orders they receive.  I helped fill orders by picking stock off the shelves and pack orders, sometimes with Christmas gift wrapping, ready for posting.  Someone called me a Christmas elf. 

I heard about the job from a friend at college and half the people working there for the past two weeks are people I know from college.  It has been fun working with people I already know.

I wasn’t sure how much I would enjoy the work.  It’s fairly repetitive and far more physical than mental (not that there was much heavy lifting at all, just a lot of standing or walking around all day).  But I realised during this job that I don’t mind that at all.  I don’t mind doing jobs that are repetitive, physical and probably classed as ‘menial’.  I have told J more than once that I’d happily stack chairs and vacuum at church as my way of serving there. 

Perhaps admitting this is selling myself short intellectually, I don’t know.  Perhaps I’m just exhausted from all the thinking that I’ve done this year.  Maybe I would get bored of this kind of work if I did it all year.  My feet certainly would protest! 

Perhaps much of the enjoyment came from doing the job with friends.  Not even very close friends, but people I call my brothers and sisters in Christ.  People I trust.  There’s a sense of camaraderie in the warehouse, and I love that.  I’m glad for the opportunity this job gave me to get to know some of my fellow students better. 

People talk about doing a job that you find fulfilling so that work doesn’t really feel like work.  But perhaps sometimes the work is enjoyable not because personality and interests match well with the job, but because of the people you do it with. 

Reluctant stacking

Today I stacked chairs and I was annoyed.  But something else struck me at almost the same moment as I allowed myself to think these annoyed thoughts. 

We got to college a little early this morning.  The streets are quieter in school holidays so the drive from home to college doesn’t take as long as it normally does.  I heard the Friday chapel band practicing in our largest lecture theatre already and realised there must have been no 8am first year class today.  J told me there was none rostered this term. 

It’s the first years’ job to set up the lecture theatre for chapel.  We did it last year.  But when I went upstairs ten minutes before chapel was supposed to start the room had only just started to transform.  There were only about 6 people moving the tables and chairs, and it was definitely not enough people to get it done on time. 

I started to slide tables over each other, to stack chairs, and get a bit annoyed at first year.  It looked like there were only two first years helping out.  Why hadn’t they organised for some of them to be there to help out?  We organised this ourselves last year when we had no 8am lecture.  This isn’t the job for other years to do.  I shouldn’t have to be here, but there weren’t enough people as it was, so I had to help. 

I told these annoyed thoughts off almost immediately.  Why should I think that I’m done setting up for chapel just because I’m not in first year any more?  I shouldn’t resent service of others.  Doing this job is loving my fellow students and serving them.  But I love rules and allocated tasks so it’s hard for met to let others ignore them.  But in my annoyance I had traded the joy of serving others for anger at doing “someone else’s job”. 

I shouldn’t think myself above this job.  Christians are called to a life of service, and this was just one small way of serving others.  So I kept going, now with a better attitude.  Or at least without the anger. 

Ten minutes after I started I looked around and I realised how many people had come into the room to help out.  So many.  Many more than we needed to get it done.  And I realised it didn’t matter what year they were in.  I was filled with love for my fellow students.  People who are willing to help out even if it wasn’t their job.  And now I’m ashamed of my grudging service doing a not-my-job. 

Today was a reminder for me of my sinful selfishness.  My shameful self–centred nature.  And it was a reminder to serve, even when it means doing something that’s not my job.  In a way that’s the greater service, isn’t it? 

And how can I not serve when I have already been served by Jesus, who gave more than I could ever give to save my life?  I worship a Servant Lord who calls me to serve also.  I’m still learning to serve, but I trust that God is changing my heart in a way that I couldn’t.  A servant heart after my Servant Lord Jesus. 

Going to the country

While we have some access to the internet I thought I'd write a quick post to let you know what we're up to this week.

For one week of the year we have what's called College mission, where teams of students from college go out to various churches around the city (or even further away), to partner with the church in sharing the good news about Jesus and serving the community around them.  Our team was partnered with Gunnedah Anglican Church. 

Gunnedah is a country town in NSW, of about 8,000 people, an hour's drive from Tamworth (or if you don't know where that is, it's also 4 hours from Newcastle and 5 or 6 hours from Sydney).  We are being billeted with church members living in and around Gunnedah.  J and I, along with two other guys from our team, are staying with a couple who live ten minutes from the church, south of the centre, in an area that feels "out of town" because you drive through a 100 kilometres per hour speed zone to get there. 

This week we are involved in church services, playgroup, community visiting, scripture classes, outreach events for men and women, door knocking, training sessions, youth group and nursing home services.  So far we are very thankful for the welcome we have received, getting to know our hosts and the much needed rain in this dry part of the country (not to mention the cooling effect it has had on the weather!).

Please pray for us as we partner with the church serve the community here in Gunnedah. 

Service on CE Camp

J and I just got back yesterday from CE-SU Kid's Camp, something we've been doing together for a number of years now and J for many years before that.  CE stands for Christian Endeavour and SU is Scripture Union.  This camp we had about 80 kids and 30 leaders away for four nights with the aim of giving the kids a genuine encounter with Jesus and encouraging and equipping them to serve him wholeheartedly.

This was one of the pictures we used this year because we had a medieval theme.
Photo from cenetwork.org.au

J was the director, a role he also had last year, and I was a pastoral carer again.  This meant that I was available as a support for four leaders, stepping in to help as they needed me, or listening if they needed to talk about something, camp related or not.  If I wasn't busy with those things I found jobs to do, such as stray dishes, set up for the canteen, sweeping and cleaning and other things.

I love this role for a number of reasons.  Firstly, I get to pastorally care for people, which is exactly what I want to do.  I'm not sure how good I am at this yet and I do doubt myself sometimes, but I love the opportunity to listen to people, to comfort and support them and hopefully be helpful to them in the process.  I also like that the role of pastoral carer is so self-directed as I enjoy the opportunity to be working on this skill.  I really value this opportunity to serve and it's this that I want to write about a bit more.

A lot of the work that I do as a pastoral carer is unseen, or seen by only a few people.  I like this 'background' kind of service, not just because I am shy and don't like being up the front, but also because it prevents me from getting proud about my work.  There's something about hidden service that makes me feel closer to God.  Because I know that I'm not acting for my own benefit but for others.

This reminds me of something that the speaker talked about on camp.  Though I'd heard this before it was a good reminder.  He said that if you put Jesus first, others second and youself third, you will have true JOY in life.  I'm still working on this, I certainly don't always get it right and it isn't always easy, but serving at CE camp this year was a reminder of the joy that it is to serve others.