A wedding, nostalgia and seven years

I’m recounting my weekend in the wrong order, now I want to write about what I did on Saturday.

This weekend I flew back home to be at the wedding of a dear friend from school.  We became friends in year eight when we discovered a mutual love for the Lord of the Rings.  Throughout high school our social groups changed but we always remained friends.  Even when we hadn't seen each other for two and a half years (because it took me almost that long to work out how to catch up with people when you live so far away) when we caught up these last summer holidays we seemed to pick up where we left off.  

But this post isn't an ode to our friendship.  

The wedding was at our high school chapel.  Oh the nostalgia!  It was weird being back at school and seeing the places that I sat, where I made friends, where I learned.  Some things had changed about the place, but it was mostly the same.  But it wasn't just the view that tugged on my heart memory.  The school is Roman Catholic so as we went through the wedding mass I remembered particular phrases that I once heard every week.  And though I'm not Catholic and I don't agree with everything in the Catholic liturgy I enjoyed my remembrance of the phrases and the places I could confidently add my amen.  

There were some other school friends at the wedding too.  I found myself a bit shy to begin with.  Some of them I haven't seen in seven years!  I don't think I'm a very good conversationalist so I wondered how things would go at the reception.  Thankfully the conversations were pretty free-flowing.  It was really lovely catching up with some of the people I used to hang out with every day.  We didn't exactly catch up on the last seven years, but definitely the last few.  Many of us expressed surprise at how much time had passed.  We'd finished degrees, some of us have moved interstate, someone has bought a house, someone is in the navy, I've been married for two and a half years!  

And yet, I was also surprised at how most of us basically hadn't changed.  Yes we're older (and maybe wiser?) but our basic personalities have stayed the same.  I started nodding to myself: yes, I remember your sense of humour, and I remember your interest in that.  And I'm not sure how much this is a comfort or a concern, because it means that I basically haven't changed.  I wondered if my friends thought that?  

Because I feel like I have changed.  I've learned so much in the last seven years.  I like to think that I've become less shy, nervous and reserved.  That’s because now I'm more confident in God's love for me and my worth as a person.  I hope I've become more compassionate and caring, because I've understood better the compassion that Jesus showed.  

But maybe change is a slower process than I think.  Maybe learning these things doesn't change my personality but the way that I express it.  I pray that in the last seven years I've become more of the person that God wants me to be, but I know that seven years isn't really a long time and there will always be more ways I can be like Jesus.  And I pray that next time I meet my friends they will see Jesus a little bit more.

Dear old friend

Dear old friend,

I miss you.  I miss the friendship we used to share.  We were comfortable together.  You made me laugh, I encouraged you, and we enjoyed spending time together.  I'm feeling nostalgic and because I miss you I wanted to write you a letter.

Do you remember the times we spent together?  It makes me sad to think of how time has changed our friendship, but I want to let you know I still think about you, and I care about you even though there is distance and time between us. 

I remember the time that you slept over at my house for a week and we loved every minute of it.  I remember books that you introduced to me, and the art you opened my eyes to.  I remember camps together and learning about our faith together.  I remember spending time writing stories together, imagining ourselves in magical lands, or thinking about the future and planning to be friends forever. 

I remember when we recited a whole movie together and that made us instant friends.  I remember classes together, singing together and reading together.  Your first sleep over was at my house and I was so glad.  I loved that when we talked to each other we understood each other. 

I remember the time that we decided to become friends and that was that.  I remember the first time I came to your youth group and realised how small Christian circles are.  I chose one of my subjects one year just to be in a class with you.  I remember long drives and long conversations with you.  It was so easy to talk to you, you were never judgemental and always had some helpful advice. 

I remember when you hugged me when I was crying over a guy, and when you let me lay my head in your lap even though it made your legs go numb.  I remember when you avoided me at school, and the time you followed me home.  I remember laughing at you, and many conversations, but the honest ones were the best.  I loved seeing your heart, thank you for showing it to me. 

I remember writing a song together and laughing with each other.  I remember your positive outlook on life and your constant encouragement.  I remember music at school and music at church with you.  I loved listening to you sing, I hope you still do it. 

I remember when we used to email all the time.  I remember games nights at your house and late night conversations.  I remember laughing at your jokes and admiring your relationship with your siblings. 

Do you remember these things?  Where is our friendship now?  I'm sorry that things have changed and that I'm so far away.

I miss you.  I miss our friendship.

Love,
Rachelle