I'm not good at goodbyes

I'm not sure I've ever thought about the word "goodbye" before.  It begins with "good", but often I don't feel like goodbyes are good, and I certainly don't feel any good at saying them.

Yesterday I said goodbye to friends who have finished college and are moving back to New Zealand. It was so much easier to say "see you later". But I corrected myself. I know that goodbye is more accurate because I don't know if I will ever see them again.

But then she said to me "until next time", and that felt better than goodbye. We don't know when we'll see each other again, but we are God's children, saved by our faith in Jesus, and we know that we will see each other again in heaven.

Today we also had our church Christmas lunch, which included a farewell to J and I because we will be going to a different church for different training next year. These goodbyes weren't as final as the friends I mentioned, but they were still sad. We won't see this church family every week anymore. Though we'll still be in the same city, our interactions won't be the same.

It was hard saying goodbye to these friends too. It was much easier to say "we'll see you again, we'll come and visit", and try to avoid the sadness of goodbye. I didn't want the sadness of goodbye. But again, I know that I will see these friends in heaven, even after we have our final goodbyes.

Thank you God, for our hope of heaven. Perhaps goodbyes can be good after all.

I am a music snob

I am a music snob.  I really am, I am ashamed to say.  I don’t mean styles of music.  You can like your punk/funk/heavy metal as much as you like and I’m not fussed.  Each to their own and I’m (mostly) happy to say that it’s just a matter of preference (but screaming, is that really music?).  When I say I’m a music snob, it’s in a far worse way than disliking a particular style.  I mean church music.

In the last while I have been to a few different churches or places where church music is played (e.g. college).  Each church has different resources (in terms of musicians available and qualities of sound systems and things like that).  And I have realised that I am a snob about church music.

I realised this recently when we were in a church singing a song that I knew well and the song leader and congregation sang a note wrong.  They sang two lines exactly the same without the subtle difference of one note.  It was only one note, but it annoyed me. 

Now, I quickly realised that this probably affected only me.  My snobbery caused me to lose joy in what I was singing, to focus more on the music (the tune, the instruments, the tempo) instead of the words that I was (meant to be) singing in worship to God.  It distracted me from what I should be focusing on while singing in church.

I know that this is probably my problem and not something I can blame on someone else.  I could say that the musicians should “work harder” and get the song “right” so that the music is good and doesn't distract anyone.  But I’ve been in far too many small churches to know that this just isn’t possible.  Your drummer is young and enthusiastic and plays too fast and loud, or your guitarist taught themself and can only play certain types of music, or your singers are shy and never know when to come in.  But there’s no one else who can do it, so you use what you have. 

Sure, my problem may be fixed by a talented music team who play well together and produce polished church music.  I will be able to entrust myself to their music and focus on the words and what I am singing to God.  There will be nothing in the music that jars me out of my focus on God.  But what if I’ve learnt the song incorrectly in the first place?  What I think is right and won’t jar, is actually not right, and even if the musicians play the song perfectly (or we sing along to a recording, arguably as perfect as you can get), my problem will still happen.

So much of the way we do music at church is communal.  We learn together and we teach each other.  We may get used to the way that our church music team plays a particular song, and this becomes our favourite and comfortable way to sing it, even if it is “wrong” in certain aspects according to the original composer(s) and performer(s).  

My music snobbery is just something that I need to get over.  I can’t control the music at any church and getting upset about it just puts a barrier in my way to worshiping God through what I’m singing.  I want to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness for the way that God has blessed the church with the people who are there, and I want to focus on the words, more than the music.  Any time I hear that jarring of music not–quite–right–to–my–ears, I hope it reminds me to refocus on the words, to mean what I am singing, and ultimately, focus not on myself, but on my God. 

Thankful Thursday

Here we are at Thursday again.  I’m particularly thankful that we are because it means that my last assignment for the semester is finished!  Here are some of the other things I’m thankful for this week:

Growing things
On the weekend I did a bit of work weeding in my veggie patch and was excited to see that some of the seeds I had planted a few weeks (or months? I can’t remember) ago have started coming up.  I have some carrots (I think…) and some kale growing next to my exploding tomato plants, and a few little cucumber seedlings have popped their heads up too.  It has been rewarding being able to eat some of the things we’ve grown ourselves and seeing little seedlings emerge makes me marvel again at how intricately God has made his creation.  All I do is plant and water (and even then I don’t do it very well!) but God is the one who makes it all grow.  I’m thankful most of all for this and the opportunity that the veggie patch has given me to marvel again at God’s creation and to participate in some of his creative work. 

Forgiven failings
On Sunday afternoon J and I played tennis with some people from church.  This is a semi-regular thing, happening every few months.  Now I say ‘played’ tennis… I’m sure that’s what J was doing but I’m not sure I was.  I’ve never been very interested in tennis, though I don’t mind watching bits of the Australian Open each year.  Mum and Dad would try to teach my sister and I whenever we visited the local tennis courts but we weren’t very committed.  So I found myself flailing for the ball on Sunday and apologising to my partner whenever I missed it.  But I am so thankful that I could still have fun despite my abysmal tennis, and that my partner and opponents also had fun.  (I’m also thankful that I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t that great at tennis.)

Resolutions from assignments
I wasn’t going to talk about my assignment but I realised that aside from being thankful that it is finished, I’m also thankful for what I will take out of it.  This assignment was for my preaching subject.  We had to reflect on what we had learned about preaching, about feedback, our strengths and weaknesses and plans to improve our preaching.  The two things I resolved to start doing to help improve my preaching was to work out the fallen-condition focus of the passage and to pray for understanding of the passage.  Now, I don’t get many opportunities to preach (not that I’m complaining!) so there’s not much opportunity to put these things into practice.  So I resolved to do these things in my personal Bible reading time.  I’ve often struggled with personal Bible reading, making it more than just reading to tick a box but not taking it in.  So I’m thankful that through this assignment I have made some resolutions that will hopefully not only help me the next time I come to write a sermon, but will help me in a very practical way in understanding the Bible. 

What are you thankful for this week?

Thankful Thur– Friday

Oops!  After all that rush on Wednesday I’m late with my Thankful Thursday post.  Here are some things that I’m thankful for this week:

Church camp
Last weekend J and I went away up into the mountains for church camp.  It was a lovely time away and a great opportunity to get to know some people at church better, and have fun together.  I felt more relaxed (and sometimes a bit crazy) than I usually am at church.  Thanks to everyone who shared thoughts with me, sat next to me, played games with me, puzzled with me and prayed with me. 

Making music
On Monday night our college had their graduation ceremony and J and I were involved in leading the songs with three others from college.  It was lots of fun.  There was playful banter, helpful instrument carriers, some insistent glasses cleaning, nerves and beautiful noise.  I also surprised myself by being chatty in the car when we were taking instruments back to college.  It was particularly lovely getting to know our drummer a bit and to see her enjoyment and enthusiasm for music.  Thanks music team!

Our year group at college
On Thursday afternoon we held a “senatorial inquiry” on Luke’s gospel and how it provides hope for a number of different people groups of the time.  It was hilarious (and also informative of course).  People dressed up in togas (or dresses or toilet paper bandages or hessian sacks) and went to town on first century jokes and year group references.  I’m thankful that our year group is funny, friendly and overall fantastic.  I’m so grateful for the friends I have, the helpfulness people show, and the fun we have together.

A flower
I only noticed today that my passionfruit plant has produced a flower!  To be honest, I wasn’t sure that the plant would do very well in a pot so I’m excited that this has happened.  One step closer to getting fruit!

What are you thankful for this week?

That’s Christmas to me

A few days ago J and I watched The Polar Express.  I remember really enjoying it the first time I watched it several years ago.  I thought it was a sweet film with a nice message.

This time I found myself frustrated. 

The message of the film is essentially that if you just believe you can keep the magic of the spirit of Christmas alive for yourself.  But believe in what?  That Santa is real?  All the adults who watch this film know the truth there.  And what exactly is the spirit of Christmas? 

The truth is that Christmas is not about keeping the dream of Santa alive.  It’s not about ‘the spirit of Christmas’.  It’s not even about giving and family time, though we do enjoy doing this at Christmas time. 

Christmas is about celebrating the greatest gift this world has ever received.  We share the love by giving each other gifts, but it’s not even really about this.  God has given us the amazing gift of his son, Jesus Christ, God incarnate among us, Emmanuel.  Jesus humbled himself from his place as creator and ruler of everything to become a helpless, dependent baby. 

But it’s not the fact that Jesus, God himself, was born into this world that makes him the world’s greatest gift.  It’s what he did with his life that is significant.  He gave it up on behalf of sinners so that we would be forgiven.  It is because of what happened at Easter that makes Christmas important. 

On Sunday we heard a friend preach for the first time (which was exciting to be at) and he reminded us to remember the most important thing at Christmas time.  I felt particularly rebuked when he asked “would you feel like the day was less stressful if you took Jesus out of Christmas day?”  It certainly would make getting to things on time and having time to open presents with family easier if we didn’t go to church on Christmas morning.

I realised that Jesus isn’t often my focus at Christmas time.  Jesus gets about an hour of my day on Christmas day while I’m at church, and the rest of the day is about family and presents and food. 

As I was catching up with a good friend today we talked about this and both committed to putting Christ back into the centre of Christmas.  Here is one practical way we thought of for doing this: every present I open, every good bite of food I eat I want to remember that the gift of Jesus is even greater and thank God for him.  Hopefully this will help me to be more mindful of why we really celebrate Christmas. 

I’m interested to hear how others keep Christ at the centre of Christmas.  What do you do?

Where should I sit?

At church on Sunday I made my way to the second row and sat alone behind the empty front row.  This is not a post asking for sympathy or reassurance.  It's not about asking people to sit at the front. It's just a reflection that I'm still thinking through.

Why don't we sit together at church?  Or more accurately, why am I sitting alone?

At our church it seems that people tend to sit in families (though the word couples would be more accurate).  Mind you, I don't see a lot of the rest of the church from the second row, so maybe there is some inter-family mingling.  I either sit alone, if J is playing the piano that week, or just with J. Sometimes someone might sit in the same row as us, but on the end, with a gap between us.

I know that part of the reason that we sit alone is because we're at the front.  Even in a congregation with a very low percentage of young people the concentration of people is towards the back rows.  That's part of the reason I sit at the front, to try to encourage others to fill the seats from the front too (after two years, I don't think it's working). 

Perhaps I could go and sit with someone else, but it has been very rare for someone other than J to sit with me so now I've become a bit shy about joining someone else in their row.

I remember a similar seating structure at our old church back home: people sat in family units.  And I understand the practicality of this: sometimes a whole family takes us a whole pew, and it's helpful for the parents to be able to block their young children into their row.  But it was different at the evening service of the church where J and I met.  This service was made up mostly of youth and young adults, and some of their parents.  No one sat alone.  The church was very social and you would always sit with your friends.  People didn’t sit in family units, but they still stuck with people they knew and were comfortable with. 

If we as a church are a family under our Father God then we should feel comfortable and able to sit with people at church who aren't part of our biological family.  We shouldn't need to leave gaps between people. 

And if the Christian faith is more than a personal and private experience then our time of corporate worship should not be spent alone as if it were. 

I think this means I should give up the second row and sit with others.

The Bible and church

Lately I’ve been thinking about Bible reading in church.  I've posted about an aspect of this before in this post.  This week I'm preparing for service leading at church and it has got me thinking about it again.  How much Bible should be read in church? 

I’ve been in a number of church families with different styles of worship or format of service.  At my first church, a Uniting Church, we followed a lectionary, a three year cycle of Bible readings consisting of a reading (usually a whole chapter) from the Old Testament, a Psalm, a reading from one of the Gospels and one from the rest of the New Testament.  Not all of these readings were done each week at church, but at least one from the Old Testament and one from the New Testament was read.  The Psalm may have also been incorporated into a prayer or some other part of the service.  One of these readings would usually be linked to the sermon.

I went to a Roman Catholic high school that followed the same lectionary in their weekly chapel service, so often I would hear the same readings twice a week.  Then in my later years of high school I attended another Uniting Church.  This church usually did two of the lectionary readings and almost always the sermon was was based on the gospel passage.

When J and I got engaged I started attending his church, a small independent church.  This church didn’t follow any lectionary.  There would be a Bible reading before the sermon, being the subject of the sermon.  Some shorter Bible passages may have been used by the leader throughout the service, but no other parts of the Bible were intentionally read.  The same is true for the Baptist church that we’re currently attending.

At college we follow our own lectionary.  We read a chapter from the Old Testament and a chapter from the New Testament each day that we have chapel.  They follow on from each other and when we reach the end of a book we start a new one (not necessarily the next book in the Bible).  We've just finished Ezekiel and 2 Thessalonians.  The sermon is rarely on one of these Bible readings so another reading is done for the sermon, sometimes read by the preacher himself. 

I don’t know if the churches that used a lectionary did so for any reason other than tradition, but I still think that reading from a lectionary is a good idea.  It gives the benefit of hearing from more of the Bible each Sunday at church.  After all, what is the most important part of the church service?  I acknowledge that people may have different opinions on this, but I want to argue that hearing the word of God is the most important.  More important than singing good songs, praying, and even the sermon.

With the lectionary you get to hear from more ‘obscure’ parts of the Bible that wouldn’t normally be preached on or talked about in Sunday school or Bible study group.  And even if your church does preach from the lesser known parts of the Bible, they don’t come up very often so reading from a lectionary means that you read more of the Bible more often. 

Of course, as the service leader I will read from more of the Bible than just the reading for the sermon.  Perhaps this is one of my responsibilities as service leader rather than anything rostered and organised by the church leadership.  But what I read is not going to be consistent with the previous and following weeks.  I could read a chapter from Zechariah but there will be no context for the people to understand it better, and it would just feel very random.  They won't have heard the previous chapter last week or the next chapter next week.  The Bible is meant to be read, it is meant to speak to us.  After all, it is where we find the truth about God.  If we sing five songs, pray three prayers and hear a half-hour sermon, surely we should read a few chapters of the Bible.  Church notices shouldn't take longer than our reading from the word of God.  So I'm working out how I can include more Bible in the service this Sunday. 

I’m not saying that my church isn’t doing things well.  I just wonder if we should be reading more of the Bible in church than just the reading for the sermon.  Because by doing this it can make it seem like the sermon is more important than the Bible reading.  This is because the reading feels like it is done for the sermon, when it should really be the other way around.  The sermon should be done to complement the reading, to expound it for the congregation.  But we shouldn’t ignore the fact that God speaks through his word without us having to say anything else.  Reading more of the Bible in church, parts that the sermon doesn’t talk about, helps to remind us that God’s word is powerful to speak to us all on it's own.  As people who base their faith on what the Bible says, do we believe this?  Do we let God speak from his word?  So let’s do this by reading more of the Bible in church. 

When you don’t like public speaking…

This is only a short post because I’ve still got a lot of work to do.  I just thought that since it has been a while since my last post I’d let you all know what I’ve been up to and what is coming up. 

The biggest thing on my mind at the moment is the fact that I’m preaching in Women’s Chapel at college tomorrow!  Eeek! 

I have never preached before, I’ve never really written a sermon before.  It has been hard.  I didn’t even know where to start!  This has given me a greater respect for those who write sermons or Bible talks week in and week out.  Of course, they have had more practice than me, but it’s still something that takes a lot of time and creative energy. 

Even though it has been hard I’ve enjoyed the process of digging deeper into my passage and working out how to preach it.  I’ve had to understand how the passage fits within its wider context (the letter that it’s from), and the logic of the passage.  I’ve looked at other parts of the letter that talk about similar things to help me to understand my section. 

Here’s a picture of my work station.  I’ve got a screen at the back showing the feedback notes I took when I gave this sermon in my college preaching group.  My Bible is open to the passage, and I’ve got some notes written down on the paper on my left. 

On Sunday I also lead our church service for the first time.  For someone who doesn’t like public speaking, this has made for a lot of it in one go!  Though I was nervous and unsure of myself the people at church were very encouraging.  I also found it spiritually encouraging to have prepared for leading the service and feeling responsible in a way for leading the congregation in hearing God’s word and worshipping him. 

Next week is also a busy week.  It’s research week, a week when we have no classes so that we can dedicate our time to the big assignment that is due at the end of the week.  For second years it is an Old Testament essay on a passage from Deuteronomy. 

And everything that normally happens is still happening.  Winter dinners have started up at our community, church Bible study group and women’s Bible study group are still running.  I’m still doing ballet with some girls from college each week, and I’m enjoying running with some of my neighbours a few times a week. 

If you are a praying person I would appreciate your prayers.  Please pray:

• that I would preach the truth tomorrow and God would use what I say
• that God would calm my nerves and give me confidence in him
• for all the students at college as they complete big assignments next week
• that we would take time to rest and be thankful to God

Thanks,
Rachelle

Bible reading practice

I’m reading the Bible in chapel this week at college.*  That might sound a bit ho-hum, but I’m actually really looking forward to it.  I’ve often enjoyed listening to the Bible read at college because it is read so well.  I think it’s something that you don’t realise you were missing until you hear it.  It is definitely more than someone realising on the day that they were rostered to read the Bible and quickly finding it in the Bible, then stumbling over the words as they read it out loud in a monotone. 

Part of the preparation for Bible reading at college is to attend Bible reading practice with Greg, the lecturer who organises the chapel services and rosters.  I love the passion he has for good Bible reading so it’s a joy to hear his spiel about it even a second time (I also went last year when I was rostered on to read the Bible in women’s chapel).  Here are some of the things he said about reading the Bible in public. 

Reading the Bible in chapel or in church is really important, in fact it is (or should be) central to the whole church service/meeting.  While we would sincerely hope that every sermon you hear is God’s word, we can definitely be sure that the Bible reading is God’s word.  So it’s important that we prepare the reading so that we can read well and not create any barriers to hearing and understanding God’s word because of the way we read.  We want to read in a way that brings forth the meaning of the passage.  The way we can ensure that we’re doing this is to make sure that we ourselves understand the passage so that we  bring the meaning out in the way that we read it.

Greg talked about three ways that we can bring out the meaning in the passage: emphasis, pace, and feeling.

Emphasis
It’s important to emphasise the right word in a sentence or phrase because it can really impact the way that the reading is understood.  Emphasis is best used when the passage introduces new information or suggests a contrast.  If this is done badly it can change the whole meaning of the passage, so it’s important that you understand the passage before reading it publically. 

Pace
If we spoke at the same speed all the time the people would stop listening and simply tune out.  And why not?  It’s boring to listen to!  But if we change the pace of our speech we can help to keep people engaged and  emphasise what is important.  Last week I even heard someone use pace to describe how the disciples ran to the empty tomb after Jesus was resurrected.  It really helped to capture the mood excitement and urgency as he spoke faster. 

Feeling
This is about the emotional vibe of the passage and is conveyed by the tone in your voice.  Greg said that often people worry that they will be overacting by conveying the feeling of the passage, but the chances of this are very small.  It’s more likely that we won’t act enough.  Examples of this are speaking joyfully when reading a Psalm of praise, sadly when reading about repentance, or strongly/angrily when reading about God’s judgement of sin. 

I’ve tried to incorporate these things into my reading when I read the Bible at church and I really think it has helped.  I’ve noticed that I’m much more easily engaged with the Bible reading at college chapel because it is read well and I hope I’ve been able to bring this to church as well.  I hope this has also been helpful for you in making you a better Bible reader.

 

*since writing this I’ve discovered that Friday chapel has been cancelled because of graduation the night before, and therefore I won’t be reading the Bible at chapel this week. 

Chinese New Year generosity

Friday the 31st of January was Chinese New Year and we were invited out to lunch after church this Sunday by one of the elderly Chinese ladies at church, Rosey.  She had booked a table in advance and invited people at church to join her.   I’m not sure if she had any particular people in mind, she just invited people until the table was full. 

So after church we were ready to go, but we didn’t know where we were going.  Rosey can be a bit hard to understand at times but she said something like “we’ll eat barbecue”.  Alright, sounds good to me.  She had an agitated moment after church that made us wonder if lunch was off and she should just go home.  But she was persistent; we were going to go and she was paying. 

She said we could just walk, it was close.  But then she had a sore hip so we decided to drive her.  Those who didn’t fit in the car opted to walk rather than take another car.  But we still didn’t know where we were going.  She would give us directions as we drove (and then we would text those who were walking to let them know where we went!). 

Once we got there, of course!  She had said “Wok and BBQ”, that was the name of the restaurant. 

When we were seated Rosey got busy diving through her three bags looking for red envelopes and money and pens and her cheque book.  The lady sitting next to her at the tabled helped to write the messages because Rosey couldn’t see very well.  Rosey gave an envelope to everyone who came, even if she didn’t know their names yet (and I had to look up someone’s last name on Facebook to write on the cheque). 

We ordered a few dishes to share across the table.  Well, Rosey ordered for us.  She has been there a number of times and the staff there know her now. 

When the fish dish came the waiter expertly split the fish and pulled out the spine.  We smiled into our plates of rice as Rosey confused the waiter with where she wanted him to put the fish spine.  On her plate?  No, she wasn’t going to eat it!  But not back on the plate! 

J and I were touched and blessed by Rosey’s generosity towards us in paying for lunch and her gift in the red envelope.  This experience has been a challenge to me about being generous, not just with my money, but my time as well.  Relationships require generosity and I look forward to the growth that results from this in our relationships at church.  Thanks, Rosey.